When it comes to a first date, we are all hyper-focused on that first impression, so we plan out every detail to a T. From the shoes to the perfume, some of us even check the restaurant menu in advance! Hey, no harm in being extra prepared, right?
But what many of us forget is that a first date is not just a meet and greet. It’s a chance to examine someone before you are too emotionally invested to recognize any red flags. So make the most of this opportunity! To get your head as set as your outfit, here are 30 first date questions you can ask and why it is worth getting some answers.
No-Fail First Date Questions
Before I get started, something to keep in mind: Don’t ask ALL these questions. A first date is not meant to be an intense therapy session. Yes, you want to get to know your date, but there is no need to go into full CIA interrogation mode. It’s off-putting and can drive a potential match far away.
- What about my profile caught your eye?
- Why did you decide to go out with me?
These first date questions are fun, flirty icebreakers. Not only do you start the date by complimenting one another, but it also allows the conversation to move along to other subjects as you discuss what you like about each other.
- What were you doing over the weekend?
- What’s been going on today?
- What does a normal day look like for you?
Depending on the day you go out, ask your date what they have been up to over the past couple of days or the weekend. These are icebreaker-style questions that get the ball rolling and give you a peek into your date’s personality. If they like to stay at home or hang out with their friends, you can gauge whether they are more of an introvert or extrovert.
Similarly, asking about their daily routine reveals key information about your date’s lifestyle: if they wake up early, work out, commute – the works. This question also gets people talking about their job, which makes it easier to segue into that discussion.
- What are your interests or hobbies?
- How do you enjoy spending your free time?
- What’s your favorite meal or restaurant?
- What do you like (or do not like) to eat?
- Any recommendations for a good TV show or movie?
Sharing similar interests is an important measure of compatibility, so always ask your date what they enjoy, like, and dislike. Open-ended questions like these are easy to answer and practical. It keeps the conversation going and helps you connect with your date.
If you like hiking and they like camping, then the two of you can bond over your love of the outdoors. The same goes for food and entertainment preferences. If things don’t work out, well, at least you will learn about some new places to eat or shows to watch.
- What’s one thing you’d like people to remember about you?
- Is there something interesting about you that you want to tell me?
- Is there anything you want to know about me?
- Now that we’re having this lovely discussion, what impression do you get of me?
First date questions like these let your date lead the conversation. Oftentimes, people have something on their mind or want to share something about themselves but don’t know how to approach the subject. So when you ask them questions like these, it gives them permission to express themselves and really get into some deep conversations.
- What made you decide to be a [date’s job]?
- What do you like and dislike about your job?
- Is this your dream job?
- What’s the next step of your career path?
I know, asking about work is super cliché, but a person’s job is a huge part of their life! However, you don’t want to turn your date into a job interview, so I suggest asking your date how they feel about their job instead of what they actually do. You will learn how career-driven they are, their work goals, and future plans. Also, you will get their version of work-life balance. That tells you if they even have the time to build a relationship.
- How would you describe your family?
- Are you close to your family?
- What was your childhood like?
- What’s a favorite childhood memory?
Family-related questions are not the safest bet because experience and emotions really range. Some people happily talk about theirs, while family is a real sore spot for others. So, you must pay attention to your date’s body language on these first date questions. If they are not meeting your eye or giving short, clipped answers, they are uncomfortable and don’t want to talk about their family. If the two of you continue to date, you can revisit the topic, but for now, don’t force it; just change the subject.
- Where do you stand politically?
- How religious are you?
- What social situations do you feel strongly about?
- Who do you look up to and admire?
First date questions like these have become much more socially acceptable because politics and religion are important in today’s day and age. Of course, you don’t want to be blunt, so before getting into these hot-button topics, ask your date if they wish to discuss such values. If they are okay with it, dive right in.
- What are you looking for relationship-wise?
- How would you describe your ideal partner?
- What made you decide to go on this date?
- What does love mean to you?
You know what you want, so find out what your date wants – that’s the whole point of dating. So don’t feel shy about asking these relationship questions. Understanding your date’s perspective lets you know how invested they are in finding a match and if they are looking for a long-term commitment. If you are looking for love and they are just interested in a hook-up, it is better to know from the start.
Wrapping Up
Honestly, it is hard to predict how a first date will go. Anything can happen no matter how much we plan ahead. So always be mindful of the conversation’s direction and tone, then use some of these first date questions to keep the conversation going.
Remember, the first date is just step one, so don’t build it up to be anything more. Enjoy yourself and try to have fun because the only thing you need to decide by the end is if you want to go out with this person again.